Saturday, May 20, 2017

"A True Love Story..."

Made a throwaway because I'm not out to anyone, but I wanted to tell someone this because I'm happy!

I've been friends with this guy for years. I'm a second year graduate student and we met freshman year in undergrad. I met him in the dining hall because I dropped my cup of water and he helped me clean up the mess. We were both bumbling freshmen desperate for friends, so that's how we met. Our connection wasn't fast. We hung out a few times freshman year, but he was always an acquaintance and nothing more.

Sophomore year, I studied abroad in Germany so I did not see him at all, save for the sparse Facebook messages.

Junior year, once I returned, we began to hang out more frequently. We had the same major and were in almost all of the same classes together. Most of my own friends were studying abroad at this point, and he didn't have a lot of close friends (he was in a fraternity--so he had a LOT of people in his circle, but none that he really "connected" with, I guess). It was at this point that I was coming to terms with my sexuality; I knew that I was gay, but it just wasn't something I was ready to tell my family yet (however, my friends all knew and it was cool). The guy, my friend, asked me when he saw a shirtless poster of Idris Elba hanging in my room. I told him, nonchalantly, that I was gay. He was cool with it. I think his exact words were, "Cool. That's awesome." And that was that.

Before winter break of junior year, I had a party at my apartment. I invited the Guy (I'm gonna call him that) over. I was drunk off my ass, so I was feeling happy (and honest) and I told the Guy that he was incredibly attractive and I valued our new close friendship. He told me (he was also drunk) that he was bisexual and thought I was cute as well. The next morning, once we both were sober, we discussed what happened. The Guy told me that it was true that he was bi. Great. But there was an awkward tension between us after that.

A few months later, he was dating a girl from our class and I was setting up to study abroad again in Germany for a semester (spring and half of summer). The week before I was supposed to leave, the Guy told me--in the library bathroom of all places--that he had feelings for me.

I didn't know what to say to this, so I just told him that I didn't feel the same way (at that point, I didn't). He was upset by this. I left for Germany and we stopped all communication.

I returned in late summer. As I was moving into my new apartment, I realized that the Guy lived right across the street from me in a neighboring complex. He came over one night when he saw me on my balcony. He apologized, we talked about everything. Things got heated... and then we ended up having sex.

After that, we were inseparable. We kind of made up for lost time. For a year (through senior year) he was the love of my life. He was a beautiful, amazing man that cooked me breakfast and my balcony window faced his bedroom window across the street. So we would try and send each other messages (via that stupid-ass Taylor Swift video circa 2007???). It was fun. He was fun.

But after graduation, we got jobs in different spheres of the country. I went to Boston and he went to Denver. The hardest thing I had to do was end it with him. We tried to find ways to see each other, but it wasn't feasible; we were going to be poor graduate students. We couldn't afford plane tickets. We didn't have the time for constant Skyping/Facetiming. It was more of my decision to let him go, and he grudgingly agreed.

For a year, I got to have an amazing love. And that was enough for me.

My friends all knew we were a thing. His life was more secretive, but we had an amazing, free life for one year.

While in grad school, the first year we fell out of touch again. It was silence as we both fell into work. It wasn't until this past summer, in June, that he sent me a text asking me in what area of Boston I lived in. No warning, no "Hi, how are you?" text. Just a straight up, "Where do you live?"
I told him. He said he was going to send me a gift.

He's asleep in my bed right now. It's 5am and I'm so happy.
WOOOOOOO!!! This feels good to finally say. I'm so fucking gay, you guys.

From Reddit

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