"The Truth About How Love Happens..."

Couple of The Month: Corey & Quincey!

September 3, 2014



Meet our September Couple of the Month, Corey & Quincey! They have been together for over 5 years and recently got engaged last spring. These guys have been making their mark in Boston through their dynamic non-profit organization, The Hispanic Black Gay Coalition (www.hbgc-boston.org)! The organization is dedicated to the unique and complex needs of the Black, Hispanic and Latin@ LGBTQ community. Corey & Quincey are definitely an inspiration to us, and we congratulate them on being September’s Couple of the Month!

1. How did you guys meet?
We first met online, arranged a meet-up at a club, then began going on dinner dates every week where we learned more about our past, pain, and dreams. From there, we started to become interested in one another on a deeper level and through our romantic connection started to support each other in overcoming our pain and achieving our dreams.

2. When faced with conflict, how do you typically handle it?
We try to handle conflict by communicating, listening, and using the arguments to learn more about one another. Every conflict is a chance to learn something new about what makes the other person hurt or upset. It’s also a chance to learn something new that could help avoid a future misunderstanding or conflict. The times we have approached conflict as a learning opportunity, we have reached an understanding quicker and have grown closer in our appreciation and love for one another. It isn’t easy, but we always try to remember despite it all we love each other and that love has gotten us through tough times in the past and it has the power to get us through anything.

3. What do you think is the most important aspect of your relationship that keeps you together?
An important aspect of our relationship that keeps us together is accepting that neither one of us are “perfect.” Owning our imperfections and the vulnerabilities that come with that can bring us closer to a more perfect relationship, but we have given up on expecting the other person to always be perfect. Doing that prevents us from breaking up after every little argument or fuck up the other person may make. Instead, we try to use it as an opportunity to relate to one another more in the journey to better complement and love one another.

4. What advice would you give to a new couple?
Be patient. Take the time to truly get to know each other beyond the basic top or bottom questions ;). Communicate your needs to each other as difficult or awkward as it might be. Intentionally set time aside to be together (especially if you both are workaholics). Don’t compare yourself to other couples as you never know what is going on behind closed doors. Go at your own pace and discuss with each other the areas of your relationship you are comfortable with and the areas you want to work on together.

5. What would you say is the most challenging part of your relationship? How do you overcome it?
The most challenging part of our relationship is balancing our relationship (and disagreements) as co-founders and co-workers of the Hispanic Black Gay Coalition —an organization we are both highly invested in. Since we work together and constantly engage the LGBTQ community as part of our work, we have to be intentional in setting our work aside to focus on our growth together as a couple. We do this by not bringing the energy from our work into our home and always discussing major decisions and disagreements related to our work outside of the house. We also make time for each other by setting aside at least two evenings of our work week to be together instead of in meetings. We also plan weekend dates and trips to keep our love at the center of our connection rather than our work.

6. What would you say is the most rewarding part of your relationship? Why?
The most rewarding part of our relationship is supporting one another without judgment, being honest with each other, learning from one other, and respecting each other enough to make our decisions. It’s also rewarding to reflect on how we have grown as a couple, see how our connection have inspired others and witness the impact we have made on the world around us by working together on the things we care most about.

7. What is your stance on gay marriage?
Same-sex couples who are interested in getting married should have the same opportunity and option to do so as heterosexual couples —plain and simple. Of course, not every same-sex couple (or heterosexual couple) wants to get married, but the ability and option to do so should be available to all. It is difficult to overlook that through marriage a couple gains hundreds of legal, medical, and economic benefits, such as hospital visitation rights and tax benefits. Such benefits will play an important role in achieving our own personal, economic and professional goals. That being said, we’re privileged to live in a state that permits same-sex marriage, but marriage has never been a rallying issue for us as two activist involved in LGBTQ organizing. We see a lot of other urgent and life-threatening issues being ignored by the mainstream movement that we choose to focus on. Issues such as LGBTQ homelessness, violence against Trans women, and poverty rates among LGBTQ communities of color.

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"Fear Eats the Soul"