From Blogger Lewis Breland's "A Finer Tradition..."
Photo selected by "The Unbearable Truth... Fear Eats The Soul"
To begin, then, with a preface: this outcry will not endear me to our gay community and even less to my closest friends. There is no need to prolong the reason why, either. I’ll be blunt, as usual. Our community is filthy. Drug use (let alone abuse!) is rampant from the youngest of us to the oldest of us. Promiscuous sex is envied and looked upon as a benefit to our character – experience and accomplishment if you will. Perhaps it is a free-spirited attitude which takes us here. I fear that is not the case at all. It is a careless and irresponsible personality which will allow themselves to become so blinded by reckless desire that gives us this hue.
So what? Why should I care if the majority of the men in the bars and clubs are there to pick up a trick for a quick night of sexual fun? Why should it matter to me? Primarily I am concerned about health. If for no other reason, I advocate protected sex with as few intimate partners as possible. Secondly, I care about whether or not (at least to myself) I am going to be able to share true love and intimacy in the bedroom. If I can detach myself from emotion for sex with a random stranger over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again, how much harder it will be to form an intimate and romantic connection with another person whom I only wish I could give that sentiment to?
So what? Why should I care if the majority of the men in the bars and clubs are drugging themselves senseless and partying themselves into oblivion? Care not for the morrow, right? Absurd. This is even more unthinkable to me because of the health effects of drugs to begin with. Secondly, it’s a sure mark of human failure to cope and a mark of low morals anyways.
We’re looking for that one true love, right? I seriously doubt you’ll find it in this community in which a great deal of youths are worshiping their bodies, pleasure and recklessness. In a community where the greatest of pleasures is to get fucked up on meth and then get fucked in the ass by whoever is available is the most disgusting, disgraceful practice I can imagine. Little wonder the outside world – the normal and average American – looks on this community with such horror and distaste. What can we possibly hope to achieve in this state of existence whereby all we can muster is devoted to selfish pleasures of the lowest caliber?
I say, grow up. I say, be responsible. I say, care for yourself and for each other. I say, live! I say, fill your mind with knowledge! I say, take care of your life! I say, hold yourself up to be a moral bastion and role model! I say, again, grow up or die.
Perhaps my vision of an upright and moralistic homosexual community asks too much. I don’t consider myself better than anyone else, for that would be a truly pointless position to take. What I consider myself to be is an upright young man who has only recently been disillusioned by the filth I witness on every corner of the gay scene.
I have a few requests, if I may be so bold! First, let’s not look at each other as pieces of meat waiting to be tasted. Let’s hold ourselves to a higher standard and realize that we are all in the same boat together, we have similar wishes, desires and dreams. We have similar problems to confront. We are not isolated and cannot live without each other.
Secondly, let’s respect our bodies and respect others enough to tell them that drug use is not acceptable, let alone admirable. To turn your eyes blindly away from this problem is to invite disaster and to endorse/enable this abuse to continue unopposed.
Open your eyes and see what is around you. Sexual gratification is not the be all of existence. A high is not the fulfillment of enlightenment. To act as though these were the keys to happiness and success is to be one common presence at the table of gay people. Congratulations. You have entered the norm of gay life. I, myself, intend to resign from this community. I will have no part in it. It is not a world into which I wish to bring children and raise a family. It is not a community I am proud to belong to.
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And although I frequently use the term "gay" in describing myself and other GLBT people, I do so as a matter of convenience only (and truthfully as a way to escape needing to be very much more specific about who I am). But certainly, "Gay" is not my preferred "label" of choice for all the reasons Lewis enumerates above. In fact, (as you know) I greatly prefer the term "same gender loving" (SGL) as my self-identification, as it for most people far more accurately describes the character of the life I choose to lead. And I find that the distinction is significant because at least thus far, SGL does not conjure the negative stereotypes (based in hard to accept truths) that many of our most vehement and vocal opponents point to as their justification for keeping us second-class citizens to be condemned and pitied at best, and at worst made out to be heinous criminals worthy of imprisonment or even death.
Although these thoughts about the "gay community" that Lewis brings to our attention here are hard to acknowledge, acknowledging the truth and seeking our freedom from our own self-destruction is the only way to overcome what really is wrong with being a part of the "gay community." I agree with Lewis Breland, very often, "it is not a community I am proud to belong to. And as I always share, remember that... "Fear Eats the Soul...." and the truth shall set you free.
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