Tuesday, November 2, 2010

"Remembering Jada"

Today I lost “someone” dear to me… It’s funny but I didn’t realize just how important she had become to me since I first met her earlier this year. She was a grand old lady, even though we weren’t really sure how old she was, but she was probably close to what seemed like a hundred.

I have to confess that when she and her companion came to live in my home, I had my trepidations about it. I wondered how I’d deal with having them in the house. But she was as quiet as you’d expect an old lady to be, but she was also very sweet and gentle, not at all what I feared. Her companion Jonie is far younger and more rambunctious than Jada but even he grew on me and we became friends in a short while.

Both Jada and her companion had been away from home for a little over a week when she got sick. When we brought them back home just a few days ago and although she was very sick she seemed glad to be “home.” I gave her the run of the house since she wasn’t feeling well and she soon found a few spots where she seemed comfortable.

I last saw her alive last night when I came downstairs for a drink and she was sitting next to the stained glass doors of the Florida room. I spoke to her and she acknowledged me. I went over and told her how sorry I was that she wasn’t well and I wished her a peaceful night and then I went up to bed.

When I was saying my prayers last night, I remembered all those I love and have loved, my family, my friends, and the few that I have given my heart. As I went to leave my knees, it occurred to me that I hadn’t remembered Jada. I stopped to ask God to watch over her and if it was her time to rest to let that come and if not to help her recover. When I finally laid my head down to rest, I felt ill at ease and I realized that it was because I sensed an end approaching. I was thinking of Jada as I drifted off to sleep.

Today being Election Day, I had to be up at 5 a.m., I needed to be at the polling location I supervise by 5:45. When I went downstairs, my first thought was to find and check on Jada. Since she’d been back home, she liked to sit in the kitchen, and so I looked for her there first. She was under the stove, where she liked to rest and enjoy the warmth from the heat vent behind the range. Jada had gone there after I went to bed last night.

When I found Jada, I called her name, but she didn’t move, she was completely still. I bent down to touch her paw and she didn’t move at all. I stroked her head gently and I realized that she was gone. I didn’t realize how much I had come to love her until that moment when I mourned her passing and my tears flowed almost uncontrollably. She was a beautiful cat with a sweet and shy personality. She was smart and gentle and even graceful despite being so ill in the last few days. Eddie and I had talked of having her euthanized, but she didn’t seem to be suffering and so we had been hopefully waiting to see if she might recover.

Jada had been with Eddie for more than 14 years which in human terms would have made her nearly a hundred. As I tried to wipe away my own tears, I had to tell him that his sweet little friend of so many years had left. As I gently shook him to wake him, I said “Dear, I think Jada is gone…” Uttering those words that I knew would be very hard for him to hear broke my heart completely in that moment. It seemed that all the grief in my heart seemed to come pouring out of me and rather than me consoling Eddie it was he consoling me.

We went downstairs together and Eddie called out to Jada too, but her gentle purr was not to be heard. As we looked down at her, through the flood of tears streaming from my eyes it seemed that her beautiful coat had lost some of its sheen and the whole room was bathed in a dull muted light. Eddie brought her out from under the range and then he and I both knew without any doubt that she was gone. I got Jada’s blanket from the dining room and Eddie gently folded it over our little friend while her companion Jonie looked on finally realizing I think that his elder feline friend had died.

I carried Jada to the study and laid her wrapped in her blanket under the window where she first settled herself on her first day at my house. As I wiped my eyes and tried to sober myself, I hugged Eddie and I had to leave for work. As I walked through the frosty morning air, I said a little prayer for Jada hoping that if our companions get to go to heaven too, then she will be there. I realized that I loved her.

Eddie, who is very creative, made a small painted box for Jada and a marker with her name on it made from a piece of blue stone. When I saw it at lunchtime, my heart broke. I couldn’t believe how much I missed the sweet little cat that would eat from my hand and sit at my feet purring

During my dinner break this evening, Eddie and I buried Jada in the shade of the pear tree in the backyard. We put Jonie on his leash and wanted to let him come out with us as we paid our respects to Eddie’s longtime friend and companion, but he didn’t want to come out. I wondered if Jonie comprehended what has happened, he seemed somber and sullen as we made our way back into the house from Jada’s final resting place. I’m worried about how he’ll adjust to being alone during the day and without a fellow cat as a companion. I imagine his world will be as changed as ours. Eddie will miss Jada tremendously and I will too.




Rest In Peace Dear Little Friend



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